When life goes too fast, Pause….and be Intentional!

Hello blessed people! How have you been? The last few weeks has been incredibly busy and I’m really glad I’m able to put up a post this week. I’ve managed to send out weekly post reminders ( please follow us on Instagram and Facebook)

This week, I will like to share what has been on my mind and the centre of most of my meaningful conversations lately (it has taken over my pillow talk…hahahha). I’m having to juggle so many roles and activities and I’ve found myself feeling frustrated as its so difficult to achieve a balance.

I had a conversation with some of my best friends yesterday and it inspired this post really. We are all getting so busy with life, staying connected takes  extra work and effort and the general balance is hard to achieve. I will be sharing some of what I told them and also what I learnt.


  • Staying connected requires conscious effort

 In my not too short life, I’ve realised the only things that happen naturally (without effort) are bad things, good example is the weed in my front lawn.

Photo Credit: FreePik

If you are going to get anything good out of any relationship, goals or even life, as hard as it is, you need to put in effort and intention.

Your garden will overgrow with weed if you don’t plan and actually tend to it.

Just like your garden, your relationships will also overgrow with weed if you don’t intentionally make time for them. You could wake up one day and spouse/best friend is a stranger, it didn’t happen overnight as we tend to assume. It takes several days and weeks of neglect.

But we don’t have the time right? That’s what my friends and I said. Yes, we don’t have time for endless facetime and group chats, but we can stay connected by weekly dropping a message, updating each other about our lives etc.

But we have to be intentional about it and plan it. I have a friend who sets a weekly reminder  to send a voice note to her close friends, that works for her and I admire it.


  • Staying connected to God

Just like human relationships, we’ve to be intentional about staying connected to God also. Someone once said if you ever wake up and feel far from God, guess who moved?

Our lives are so busy we keep going from one activity to another, if we don’t plan and commit to spending time with God alone and reading our bibles, we will move so fast in the other direction without even realising it.


  • Prioritise those that value you

Honestly guys, do I need to go there? Our lives will be so much simpler and easier if we do this. Let’s stop chasing after and putting effort into relationships that are not healthy.

Photo Credit: FreePik

This is self care. It doesn’t matter if they’re family or friends, love everyone but prioritise those that value and love you back.

Stop draining your own energy; you don’t even have enough. How do we know those that value us??? By their actions, by their actions!!!


  • Examine yourself!

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith

– 2 Cor 13 v 5

This is one scripture I’ve held close to my heart since University days. It used to be faith based for me but now I use it as a light in my entire life.

  • Regularly examine yourself
  • Remind yourself  ‘of your why’
  • Have you gone off on a tangent from your actual goals and values
  • You are busy but are you busy doing what matters to you?


  • Stop apologising
Photo Credt: FreePik

One of my friends said and I quote “Give yourself the freedom to be okay with not being everything to everyone, embracing your humanity, else you will burn out.”

I used to (still struggling a little) feel the burden to be there for everyone , it’s what I love to do and a lot of you are like me. But we have to realise this is not sustainable, accept our limitations and do what is humanly possible .

Accept this without feeling sorry or apologetic. Its just important to put your energy in the right place. You can’t be everywhere, you are not God, stop competing with him 🙂

I started this post with the aim to write about friendship and staying connected but I’ve had to redirect as this is more about life than friendship. I really have  a lot to say and write about friendship (I could actually write a book) but I think the time isn’t right yet.

I will kindly ask that you share this post on your social media groups and with your friends, you never know who needs to read this before they physically or emotionally burnout.

I leave you with the peace of God.

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I wanted to be the first to comment but I am still absorbing the message. I have taken something from this so thanks 😊

Diana Ugorji

Thank you for this massage,I needed it, more wisdom 🙏

Lola Oyeyinka

Hmmmm…Nice write up…alot to unpack…the summary I got was intentionality, boundaries and acceptance…knowing your boundaries for yourself& others . ..but also accepting people at the stage they are in or the capacity they have and being intentional about boundaries, acceptance, staying in touch and forgiveness.


Thank u so much. Ur messages are direct to me. Especially the last part of stop being everywhere ur not God. This has been me the month of July I got to a point of breaking down but I thank God I got a moment of ME TIME which helped me to talk to myself and see what to let go. Let me hope the month of august is going to be different.

Adejoke Olaitan

I feel really blessed anytime i read your post. This is me over and over again. I usually tell myself, if I don’t do it, who will???. 🙈But….I say IT IS WELL WITH US ALL……Expecting the book launch soon 👍👏🙌🧡🙏💯🎉. You have it in you already…..deliver it in Jesus Name Amen 🙏 🙌 ✨ 👏 ❤

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