What you get free, costs too much – Let’s talk about value!

Hey guys, how are you today? Firstly, thank you for opening this post, it means a lot to me. There can be no blog without readers like you . I want you to know I’m grateful  to you.

So gist time!  A few days ago, Dr O was going to work in the evening and the girls were unhappy as it was family movie night and he offered them some coins as a bribe. This quickly got them excited and he left feeling  fulfilled ( I hope).

About half an hour later, I noticed the girls were exchanging their coins , wait for it! Dr O had given Princess T a £2 coin while he gave her little sister 2x 20p coins. Trust the older sister to outsmart the younger one by trying to exchange it (prefers two coins to one).

I bet this happened to a lot of us as kids, actually reminded me of the famous Jacob and Esau story and I started to think about value as it affects our perception, way of life and even fulfilment.

I looked up the meaning of value and found these two:

  • the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something
  • principles or standards of behaviour; one’s judgement of what is important in life

We shall be focusing on the former  this week.

What is your value?

Can you take a minute to honestly ask yourself this question?  I think this is one of those things that cannot be taught in schools and is an intricate part of how and why we live.

You can tell the value a person places on themselves by how they live, what they permit and what they give to others. Childhood plays a major part in the worth people place on themselves (I found out about this when I read ‘Healing The Mother Wound’ by Dr Mari Kovanen).

Most people hear their mothers voices in their heads (even as adults), this means if your mother often said you were good enough, you grew up feeling good enough and vice versa. But the good thing is this can be changed , you can get help if you’ve been hanging low as a result of lack of affirmation.

If like me , you’re willing to ask yourself your value then I’ve a few suggestions:

  • How do you see yourself? What does your inner voice say to you? Are you worthy of love and respect? That inner voice is the true judge of your worth
  • What do you accept? Do you allow people talk you down, disrespect you? Do you permit abuse just because you think you’re lucky to even have people in your life? Are people walking all over you?

What do you give? People tend to give what they think they deserve, so people that do not think they deserved to be respected deep down tend to disrespect and tear down other people

“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.”
― Malcolm X

When you value yourself, others will see this and do same. We are more transparent than we admit. Ever had a friend who did not believe in him/herself and you just keep wondering how can this amazing person do this to themselves? Don’t they know they deserve more? That’s poor value right there.

What is the value of your blessings?

Ever felt ungrateful or thought someone to be ungrateful? The reason is simple, it’s the value you place on your blessings.

I’m young but I’ve made a conclusion about my life which is that I’m only as happy as my gratitude level.

You can see a person who you think has it all but they’re unhappy , it is because these blessings you’re counting on their behalf has a low value to them. I once heard this ‘Some people have more than you and are unhappy while some have less than you and are happy’

Today, you can decide to start to value your own blessings. Just being alive is more than enough, doesn’t mean all your problems are gone but it gives you something to wake up to.

“Concentrate on counting your blessings and you’ll have little time to count anything else.” – Woodrow Kroll

What is the value of your relationships?

Not long ago I told a friend ‘the value you place on your family is the value everyone else will place on them’ and I’ve found this to be true every time.

The way a man treats his wife gives his family and friends permission to treat her the same way whilst a woman who respects and honors her husband tells her friends and family that’s how he should be treated.

This is the same as every other relationship. When you start to value your friendships and other relationships in your life, you give yourself permission to enjoy these ‘ships’ . I even tell myself I value myself enough to not keep unworthy friends or family close because I know I bring a lot to the table and not everyone is deserving of it.

What is the real value of your life?

A while ago, someone in my group doctors’ bible study said something profound about his worth. He said whilst he was in school, he had some esteem issues and got through it by reminding himself that the worth of his life is Jesus Christ.

You see , if you value yourself based on physical appearance or wealth, what happens when beauty starts to fade or you meet people richer than you? Do you cower?

If you entered a car shop for instance and you see two cars priced about 50,000£ apart, it is because the more expensive one is more valuable. That’s just how we describe the value of material items. The amount you will pay for it determines the value.

Now imagine that a whole life of the most precious son of God was given for you. What could be more precious than that or more valuable? You and I were bought and the price was God’s most precious gift. For me, this is more than enough.

Today, think about it and talk about it (even if it is to yourself). It doesn’t matter what you’ve been told or what you’ve been dealt in life, your life is valuable because Jesus thinks you’re to die for.

Can I be cheeky and say ‘be like me’?? Stand in front of your mirror sometimes and reaffirm your worth to yourself, don’t be afraid to dissociate yourself from people who do not show you the same level of value you show yourself and add value to others.

Thank you again dear readers. Please kindly follow us on IG @lessonsfrommydaughters, share this post with your friends and on social media. I leave you with the peace of God!

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Korede Ogundipe

“people that do not think they deserved to be respected deep down tend to disrespect and tear down other people” …..that is a good and important message.

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