Last week, I posted the photo above and I got a couple of responses so a thought occurred to me; it takes the hard work of two people to make the home a happy environment for children to grow in and despite the good intentions of one person, it is not really something you can achieve alone.
Most parents want to raise their children in a happy home but sometimes life happens and this becomes difficult to achieve. It is usually a contribution from both parties of course but very rarely, one parent is the problem.
Marriage is one of those things that the 100% of one person or the best intentions of one cannot make successful. It requires the 100% of two people and that is sadly responsible for the divorce rate in the world. So how then can one ‘reasonable’ parent manage the situation?
Well, I’m not an expert but I know a bit about marriage, how it works and I’ve seen different types of marriages up close especially whilst growing up. I decided to share my opinion on this
• Acknowledge your kids know there is a problem
If you’ve ever lived with children older than 3, you must know you can’t hide anything from them especially friction and emotions. They can tell when there’s a problem even if they don’t say it.
• Do not tolerate abuse
Childhood has the biggest impact on our lives, this can be either good or bad and it takes a lot of effort in adult life to deal with this .
Credit: Freepik
When you accept abuse, you’re modelling to your children that it is either okay to accept abuse or to give it.
This is why there is a cycle/pattern in many families. This is a huge topic but I would only say; you’ve to get out of the situation one way or another (ask for help if needed)
• Give your best under the circumstances
It is difficult being the reasonable one in a difficult relationship but for several reasons, people choose to remain in unhappy marriages (that is not our focus today).
Avoid getting into arguments in the presence of kids especially shouting matches. Plan to (and) spend happy times with the kids.
• Focus on yourself
Credit: Freepik
When you shift your focus from the problem to yourself and give yourself the love you deserve, you become happier, you love yourself better and you’re able to provide a happy environment.
A few years ago, I experienced this first hand with a friend and the manner in which she transformed by shifting the focus was both admirable and productive.
• Avoid speaking ill of your partner and avoid bitterness
Parents often put children in discordance when they do this. As difficult as it is to admit, the problem is between you two. Try your best to avoid becoming bitter as this is contagious and also repulsive for the children especially as they grow up.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior .
Ephesians 4 v 31
• Pray
Credit: Freepik
To a lot of us, when we are advised to pray, it sounds really cliché but nothing works wonders like prayers. If anything, it gives you strength and perspective for your own journey.
The truth is everything is easier said than done but with the help of God in the place of prayers, you can achieve a lot.
• When kids grow up, they know which parent was the problem
Your kids will remember how much you did when they grow up. Your efforts aren’t going unnoticed.
I hope you find some of these useful and please leave a comment below if you’ve additional thoughts, others might find it helpful.
Don’t forget to share with your friends . I leave you with the peace of God.
Solid insight as always