Let’s have that money talk…

Hi guys! How is your week going? The tooth fairy visited us recently which made Princess T £4 richer and she had big plans for her money

Dr. O: So tell me three things you do with money

Princess T:  1. We need it to survive, we buy food and pay for our house with it

                     2. We give it out to help people

                     3. We give some to God in church on Sunday

I was thrilled by this conversation. I don’t think I knew that much about money when I was 6. Infact, I only knew you used money to buy stuff. I tried to talk to her about the concept of saving which she got quite well but when it came to investments, it was an epic fail!

So this got me thinking about the importance of talking to our kids about money – especially what God says about money.

Fundamentally, whether a person has a love or hate relationship with money is rooted on what they saw and heard about money at home. Parents / guardians will pass down, either, their free flowing anxiety or their confidence about money and wealth to their kids. This is extremely important as money or the lack of it impacts our lives regardless of the type of lives we choose to live.

So then, why is having money conversation with kids so difficult or why do we ignore it? As a child, I never really heard my parents talk about money in front of us the way I do in front of my kids now – I make sure they see the shopping list to ensure that they know we have a budget to stick to (at least most of the time).

I know a lot of people will like to teach their kids useful lessons about money but unfortunately, their own relationship with money is not a cordial one. Actually, some adults (who are rich) can hardly look you in the eye while talking about money as though there’s a taboo to it.

So here’s a few tips on what I’m teaching my kids about money, and the practical examples I use:

• Money comes typically through your job, a business or as a gift and what you do with money is more important than the amount that comes to you. Some people make a lot and have so little, some people make a little and have a lot. This depends on what each person does with their money.

There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.

Proverbs 21 v 20

• Bills – we pay bills with some part of our money, such as food, mortgage, electricity and basically everything we need to survive.

I make my older daughter see the grocery list and sometimes she goes in with me when shopping. It gives her the experience, although I try hard not to shop outside the budget on those days (hahaha…)

• Savings – Always pay yourself first, there should be a percentage of your earnings that MUST be taken out of your salary every time you get paid. This is as important as your bills. This amount can be used for different productive things such as investments. (Mathew 25 v 14-30 talks about the parable of the talent).

Recently, a close relative gifted Princess T some US shares as a birthday present using a Nigerian app called Bamboo (you should definitely check them out) and I had to explain what it meant to her. Another epic fail, she wanted the money for new toys instead (If you know how to explain shares to kids, please explain to me).

• Giving – We must always give a certain amount to God and to people.

About 2years ago, Princess T asked me in church on a Sunday why we gave all of our money to God? Of course, we had a nice talk about God giving us the money and we only give some as a show of appreciation and a form of worship. There’s a charity we support monthly (Mercy ships, you should check them out too ), they help children in Africa who need surgeries and can’t afford it. Usually, they send photos to the house but I never let my daughters see those photos as some of them are traumatizing. Last Christmas, I had opened the letter and was just about to trash it when I changed my mind and showed Princess T. She was in tears when she saw the before and after photos of little kids like her. A seed of charity and compassion had been sown.

• Entertainment – It is important that you spend some of your money on things that you enjoy. Never pay bills, save, give and leave nothing for your enjoyment. It doesn’t have to be a lot depending on how much you have, might be coffee, pizza once a month, holidays etc. but it has to be for yourself.

We have a movie night weekly which our kids look forward to and are aware it’s part of our monthly budget.

• Contentment – Always be content with what you have and never compare yourself with anyone particularly based on what they have. It will either make you proud or make you ungrateful but never will it make you content

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13 v 5

The truth is if you don’t teach your kids how to manage money, somebody else will and that’s not a risk you want to take. But how can we teach them if we are not managing our own finances well ourselves?

If you are bad at managing your own money then it’s time to learn, for the sake of your future and your children as they’re schooled by watching you.

I’ve been able to improve, re-learn and change my relationship with money because I recognised there was a problem and I needed better understanding (I’m proudly still a work in progress). I buy books, watch YouTube videos and most importantly, I have insight into my bad money habits which I’m constantly working on (If you know me, you know I like expensive and nice things…hahaha).

Some of you reading this have older kids, have made mistakes with money or have won the battle with money. Please don’t keep your stories and experiences to yourself. Kindly share them in the comment section below.

I leave you with the peace of God.

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