Lessons From My Friend… Do It Afraid!

Meet my Friend Linda

Linda is 60years old

Linda went to medical school at the age of 45

Linda has been a doctor for 10years

Linda is a silver lining for me this year

Due to the pandemic, my work department had to operate from different sites that were merged and this gave me a chance to work with Linda, hence the silver lining bit.

Linda is the best colleague I’ve had in my 8years of being a doctor (apologies to my other/former colleagues, you guys have all been amazing). Swinging between being a friend, a listening ear and sometimes giving me a proper telling off (actually I’m not sure that ever happened), I couldn’t have asked for a better support system in the place of work during the difficult times.

This post is not (only) about praising Linda but emphasizing she went to medical school at the age of 45. So, I ask you my friend(s), what is your excuse?

• What is stopping you from pursuing your dreams?
• What are you really afraid of?
• What if you fail? How about what if you don’t?
• What is that intimate relationship or friendship you’re not letting go of because you’re afraid of being lonely?
• What do you desire but haven’t done anything about?

“One great enemy we must all endeavor to fear not conquering is fear. Fear can cripple purpose and purposeful life. Fear asks question we must fear. Fear makes vision a nightmare. One must always cross the barrier of fear to get to the great city of true purposefulness. A great number of us who are unable to live to accomplish the true reason for our existence on earth are unable to cross the barrier of fear in the first place.”

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

The reason many will go to the grave only being the least of what they could have been is fear and this fear is only a mirage .Most of the time, it is all in our heads. Fear as a result of our upbringing, as a result of what we have been told we can or cannot do or even the lies of the society.

What if you fail? Can we take a minute to ask; what if you don’t fail? If you can imagine what it will feel like if you didn’t fail and you like that feeling, then it is worth giving it a try. About 2 months ago, I posted Linda’s story on my social media, a lovely lady has since sent me a message that she is going back to school after reading this. Let me share my latest experience.

The first day I knew I was going to start blogging, I heard all sorts of voices and I still hear them now but I’m focusing on replacing them one at a time. Some of things I heard:

• You don’t know how to write. You see I’ve always loved to read and as a child, I always imagined I will write a fiction book one day but as I grew older, I started to tell myself I cannot be as good as the writers I admire so I killed that dream. You can imagine the fear when I wanted to start a blog.
• There was also the fear of being misunderstood and giving a false impression of perfection but I’ve been able to make it clear that I’m learning like everyone else.
• The infamous Impostor syndrome – What do you have to say? Or what do you have to say that is worth telling others?
• Can I tell you about the fear of losing my privacy and putting my family out there? I’m an ambivert and I respect my boundaries greatly so this bothered me a lot. I only had to express this fear to a few people who were able to guide me rightly.

Well, here we are now. I will share a few tips on dealing with fear especially the fear of starting something new:

• The worst or best voice is the one in your head, the one that says to you what no one else can hear. This is the one you have the power to silence. There is no vacuum in life so each voice has to be amplified or replaced. When next you hear that voice in your head pulling you down, don’t just ignore it, replace it. For each No, tell yourself a Yes.
• You might need someone who believes in you to hold your hands and that’s okay. One day, we went to a funfair and Princess T went on a fast ride with her dad (they do this often) but this particular one scared even me whilst watching. When she came down, I said “well done, I’m proud of you” and she honestly said “I was scared but dad was holding my hands so that helped me”. You need your own cheerleader(s)
• Be careful who you share your plans with. Some people don’t mean any harm, they just don’t believe in you or in themselves and that’s okay.
• Forget about what others will think or say. A dear friend once told me 98% of the time, people are thinking about themselves and they only spend 2% thinking about you or others. So, why should it bother you what people do with their 2%?
• Don’t wait till you’ve it all figured out. Take one small step anyway.

I once heard a saying that goes; if you don’t take a 5year course at 30 because you will be 35 when you finish, whether you take the course or not, you will be 35 in 5years.

Many times, the fear might not go away, that is why you need to do it afraid!

• If you need to sign up for a course, do it afraid!
• If you need to start a business, do it afraid!
• If you need to acquire a skill, do it afraid!
• If you need to preach the gospel, do it afraid!
• If you need to let a person or a relationship go, do it afraid!

Just go on and do all the good things you desire. If Linda can go to medical school at 45, then you don’t have an excuse . If you fail, you’ve learnt something and if you don’t, you’ve won something. Go ahead and do it afraid!

We are eager to hear from you, so go ahead and share your personal stories in the comment section. Go on, tell us your experiences either good or bad, and don’t forget to help your friends by sharing this post with them!

I leave you with the peace of God!

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